SO EXCITING!!!

Dear Emma,
Oh my, oh my! I was lying in bed with your daddy last night and all of a sudden I felt you in my tummy! It was just so sudden, and such a cool feeling. I felt you moving around! It may have been because I had just eaten, and then I was lying so still... So you probably had energy from mommies food, and mommy was all tuckered out ;) Hahaha... I grabbed your dad's hand and said, "babe!!! I just felt Emma!" He was like, "what!? not fair! I want to feel!!!" He kept putting his hands on my tummy, and I was laughing because I know that there is no way he could feel you yet. It takes longer for other people to be able to feel you move, but mommy gets the fun of feeling you earlier! :) :) :) I was all giddy, and trying to describe to your daddy what it feels like, and he was telling me not to rub it in! Hahaha, he was joking around, but he really does wish he could feel you too ;) I continued to feel you move for a while last night, and then fell asleep. I had a very sleepless night though last night. I slept for a while, but then started having very vivid dreams, and then some pain in my legs. I was super uncomfortable, and just could not go back to sleep. I tossed and turned most of the night, so this morning was SO hard. Thankfully your daddy took Eli to eat when he woke up at 7am, and I got a little more sleep than I would have had he not done that. Then your grandma played upstairs with Eli for about 20 minutes, till your daddy brought him back to me. Then mommy peeled herself out of bed and started to play with your brother. :) We had fun, and now he is sleeping again! Hahaha, and of course, I can't get myself to go back to sleep! Hahahaha... Oh well, maybe I'll try to sit very still so I might feel you move again! W are officailly 16 weeks today and starting the 17th! Which means we are already 4 months along! Wooohooo! I love you Emma.

4 months!

Four months today!

Hmmmm...

Dear Emma,
Hello my sweet Emma girl. I hope you are doing great, you are almost 16 weeks in my tummy, and it's hard to believe its been that long! Already almost 4 months! Yeeps! I have been having the hardest time passing up girl stuff in the stores, but I have been so strong and haven;t gotten you anything since that day I went to Target specifically for you. Your daddy and I went to Kohl's, and Target yesterday, and left both places empty handed! I'm so proud of us. We have been thinking about getting a bigger car since you have come into our lives ;) Our car that we have right now, although we love it so much, just is not big enough for two babies :( We actually have Eli's seat in there in such a way, where it does not allow room for another car seat. It's the only way we could safely get his seat in the car. So we know in about 6 months, we are going to have to have a bigger car to fit both of our sweet babies. We went to the Ford dealership yesterday just to brows, and see what we like, and what would fit our growing family. We know we want something safe, something roomy, and a car with third row seating for the road trips we know we will be taking. We ended up test driving a Ford Flex, and loved it!It's not the best looking on the outside, but it fits our price range and needs, so we are looking into buying a used Flex in the near future, definitely before you are born. Hopefully we will be able to find a great deal on one. I hope so!!!
So last night I was sitting on the couch watching your brother and I suddenly felt a shooting pain, and then uncomfortable pressure in my pelvic area, and became a bot concerned. I had no idea what it could be, and it felt scary. I waited to it to pass, and then went on-line to see maybe if any other pregnant women have felt this? I googled it, and lots of stuff came up! So many pregnant women report the same thing, and say that their doctor's told them it was blah, blah, blah... In other words, I wasn't too worried about it ;) I'll bring it up at our next appointment, but I'm sure it's not that serious! I can't wait till I'm able to feel you!!! Oh today at Coco's, we had our regular waiter, who is really nice, and we got to tell him that we were expecting again! He looked at us with BIG eyes, and said, "But you just had one!!!" while looking at Elijah! Hahahahaha! He was talking about how he remembers us coming in while I was pregnant, and then when we brought Eli in for the first time. He was saying how it just seems like time flies. He is now excited to watch you grow, and someday meet you. He said he can;t even believe your brother is sitting in a high chair now! Hahahaha. The whole staff was coming up to me saying, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe he's already using a highchair!!! We remember when you were still pregnant!" Hahahaha... It's fun being regulars somewhere ;) We also were well known at Starbucks, and when we had Eli, everyone was wanting to see him. There was one girl who we always talked to, and who was always so interested in our growing fam. So one day I ran into her at her other job which is Trader Joe's, and she was talking and playing with Eli asking me how I'm enjoying motherhood, and I let it out that we were having a blast and EXPECTING AGAIN!!! This was when we were still not telling anyone, so I was aching to tell. Since she wasn't going to tell anyone, I felt free to let it slip ;) She jumped up and covered her mouth and said congratulations!!! It was so much fun telling someone about our exciting little secret. Your daddy was so jealous! Hahahaha. I also told an elderly lady in line at Ross! Hahahaha. I think I told any stranger who would start conversation with me. Hahahahahaha. It was so hard to keep you a secret for 3 months!
Ok, well I better get going, Love you!

There we all are today!

15 Weeks :)

Dear Emma,
You are 15 weeks in mommy's tummy today! Growing so big :) I definitely see a difference in my size now, and that's pretty cool. I may be getting that round tummy soon ;) Last night your cousin Nic came over to spend the night with us. It was so nice to have him around, I only wish I had more energy and wasn't feeling sick while he was here. Since you are growing so much, I have been kind up tired, emotional, and hungry all the time! I get sick the minute my tummy needs food. It's so crazy! Last night went alright though. Nic watched a movie and him and Eli fell asleep around 10pm, which is late for both of them, but since they were both so hipper and wound up by each other, it took longer to get them to sleep! Yeeps! This morning I made them some Mickey Mouse pancakes, first because your cousin Nic LOVES pancakes, and second, because it's pancake day today! They enjoyed breakfast together and then we all went to the park. Oh my gosh Emma, boys are crazy! Eli is going through a phase right now where he screams if you do anything he doesn't like, and he throws fits too! Nic is a runner who runs everywhere he goes and is always on the move! Needless to say, mommy was super tired after it all. Hahahaha. Being pregnant really changes what you can and can't do for a while. I hope to take a nap today while your brother is sleeping. I told you daddy that you probably felt how tired I was, and so I should take it easy for both of our sakes. Eli and I just got back from story time at the library, and now he is in his crib trying to fall asleep. I hope you and I can take advantage of this time and get some rest too ;) I love you Emma.

So Humbled

Dear Emma,
I know that there is nothing your daddy and I could have done to deserve Your brother Elijah, and now the excitement of new, precious life, our expected little girl. You are already our little jewel, our treasure, and we know just how blessed we are to be given such a gift. You are a gift sent from our Lord Jesus Christ, who loves us, and is now knitting you together in mommy's womb. Jesus' love is like no other you can ever experience. It surpasses all other love, and goes way beyond what we are even capable of understanding. I know this because I sometimes just sit and cry silent tears from witnessing His faithfulness, His love, His support, and His presence in my life, and in your daddy's life as well. I told someone the other day that your daddy is my walking, living, breathing testament of God's power, and what He is capable of. I witnessed changes in your daddy from high school, from when we first met, and to now. I can't even begin to translate into words how much God changed his heart and life into this amazing, Godly man that now stands before me. Plus, He works daily in both of us changing our hearts and lives. I'm so thankful that we serve a God who is willing to take time with us, talk with us, heal us, speak to us and who is willing to forgive and then on top of that forgiveness, mature and grow us. We were talking about our beginnings a bit ago, our engagement, and then our wonderful wedding day. We were snuggling and laughing and flirting, and remembering the funniest stories. Our first year of marriage was a year to remember, let me tell ya! We have so many hilarious, and treasured stories to tell you guys later ;) I love being so in love with my husband. I love that he still scratched my head at night just as he did in the beginning. I love that he still takes me out, and that he still gives me back rubs. He is a loving man Emma, and you will reap the benefits of having a father who is loving, and who will take good care of you. He is a hard worker, and strives hard to give this family what it needs. I spied on him tonight!!! heehee ;) He was putting your brother to bed tonight and I stood in the doorway all sneaky watching what he does. He kissed his head, laid him in his crib while humming a melody. He then gently gave him his bottle, and then tucked his covers in all around him. Then he just stood there looking at him, and then rubbed his head a while. Then he dipped down and kissed his head and whispered goodnight! I was so touched. I love getting to see little moments like that! We were walking up the stairs together as he was grabbing at me being silly, I turned around very suddenly and hugged him around the neck and told him he was a good daddy. He just smiled. Your a lucky little lady Emma, to have a daddy who cares and who wants to be a daddy. He wants to take care of his baby, and I know how excited he is about your arrival! He keeps mentioning it to me, as I do to him. Hahahaha... You have a heavenly Father who loves you more than we can comprehend, and that heavenly Father has now blessed you with a loving earthly father who already loves you very much! Oh goodness Emma, we are so not perfect and we have our issues, but there is love here. We know Gods love, we know our love for each other, and we know that when God is in the center of our lives, we can do so much! I get tired, and weary, and so does your daddy... But, we will always try, and always care. Funny story that's not really funny... Today I was super stressed trying to edit photos for a lady who needed them WAY sooner than was originally planned. I was dealing with that, and on top of that, got little sleep, and was feeling nauseous. I just sat back in my chair and looked at your dad and said, "babe, do you ever feel like you just need more blood? Like... your out of blood, and want more?" Hahahaha... He really didn't know how to respond at first, but being the guy that he is tried to talk it out and relate. He eventually did, and then offered me his neck! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Get it? Ok, anyway, I really meant what I said about feeling low on blood, there was probably just a better way to put it. But every time I stood up, I would feel dizzy and get that white out thingy. So yes, I believe I could have used some extra blood today. Hahaha! I will end this letter by saying that yes your dad is lovely and all, but I LOVE YOU TOO, hehe, and I'm a pretty good mom too. ;) I love being a mom, and it's pretty much the best life ever taking care of my precious babies. Yes, I take care of you while in my tummy too. God does most of the work, but I try to contribute ;) I would like to take this opportunity to apalogize to your daddy for being so moody as of late. He made a comment about my nerdy bangs and I acted all hurt. It really didn't even bug me, I guess I just reacted to fast. He picked up Eli and said oops, I think we may have upset mommy. I responded with... "we?" hahaha! I can't help that I cut my bangs too short and now my husband thinks it's the best source of joking. I'll get him back. I'm the one who cuts his hair, and lets just see how that goes ;) muuuaaahahahahaha! Just kidding, I wouldn't purposfully do that, it would totally be on accident and stuff... ;) Love you

Oh and valentined day was fun this year! We invited our parents over for dinner and dessert. Your dad made dinner and I made dessert. It was so much fun to hang out with them, and just have a good time full of love!

It's True What They Say!!!

Dear Emma,
It's so true what they say!!! It's so fun shopping for GIRLS!!! Especially when the girl is your vary own baby girl! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Your daddy dropped Eli and me off at Target, slapped us some money and said, "ok babe, get our baby girl some cute stuff, but don't go crazy because you know we are going to receive girly stuff from our family too." Don't go crazy!!!!??? That' like telling a kid in a candy store, "don't eat sweets." Hahahaha... I told your daddy I wouldn't go that crazy, but I just have always wanted to shop for girly stuff for my own baby, and I would pick out a few things that I loved. Your big brother and I walked all around the baby section. Elijah ate crackers and played with his toy car, while mommy roamed around looking at ALL the super cute stuff they had for baby girls! Oh my goodness Emma, you are going to look super cute in the little outfits mommy chose for you. I bought you 3 outfits, one skirt, and one pink hoodie! Aaaaaaah! Oh, and head bands with flowers on them. I'm so happy Emma, and I'm so excited that you are coming to join this family. I always said that I would never go all crazy buying only girlie colors and super girlie things if I ever was blessed with a little girl, but now that I am experiencing it, it's so much fun to dive right in head first to the land of GIRLY! Hahahaha... I won't ALWAYS dress you in pink and tutu's, but I will allow us to be girls together and have fun with it. It's so fun being a girl Emma, your going to love it! Hahahahaha That sounds funny. I was laying out your clothes when we got home to get another look at them, and your big brother came up and started taking your clothes and running off throwing them and waving them in the air. I said, "Elijah! heehee, haha, those are Emma's clothes, be nice to them." He just laughed and tried to run away from me as I was prying them from his hands. He is so funny, your going to think so too ;) I'm not sure, but I think your big brother said your name. When I said that those were "Emma's" He blurted out, "emma emma." Could have been a coincidence, but it sure sounded like it! Ok, I better go now. Your brothers toy has malfunctioned and keeps playing the same tune over and over and over!

All New Born, and ALL adorable!

Eli!!!

There he goes!

12/28/2011 First Letter

Letter Written December 28th, 2011

Dear baby,

Hi! This is my very first letter to you. I would have started earlier, but mommy has been so tired, and so busy! The Holiday season just passed, and it was your big brother’s first Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It seems that you came along right smack in the middle of that!!! We believe you joined us on our Thanksgiving trip to Washington.  ;) How cool… I am about a month and a half pregnant with you, but we won’t know that for sure until we go to our next doctor’s appointment! I SERIOUSLY CAN’T WAIT FOR THAT!!! We are just so excited for you! We are beaming with joy just knowing that you are growing inside my tummy! Lots of stuff, and crazy stress has been bombarding us as well, not concerning you, but outside life stuff. We are trying to find a new place to live, trying to save money, and are living next to neighbors we are pretty much fed up with. Since I care so much about you, and your well-being, I don’t want to be stressed at all, and I want to make healthy emotional, mental and physical decisions concerning you. I want to enjoy this whole new season of being pregnant! I know I’ve been pregnant before, but each pregnancy is so incredible and exciting! When I found out I was pregnant with you, I jumped up and my heart totally fluttered! I cried, and ran into the other room where your big brother was playing, and picked him up and swung him around saying, “I’m pregnant!!! You’re going to be a big brother!” Daddy was at work when I found out ;) so your brother was the only one around who I could tell, even though he had no idea what I was saying. Hahaha. So I decided to be a sneaky mommy, and text your daddy with messages that were kind of down in the dumps, heeheehee! I said it had been a harder day, and I really couldn’t wait for him to get home because we really needed to talk about stuff. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! That kind of made him think I was bummed out over something.  While I was waiting for your daddy to get home from work, I took one of his already wrapped presents from under the tree and hid it. Then I wrapped the pregnancy test identical to the present I hid. I placed the new present under the tree.  :) :) :) When your dad came home, he was so sweet and being so attentive to me. I told him, that maybe I would feel better if he opened one of his Christmas presents early! That would make me excited and happy to see him open a gift! So he said, he could totally do that if it would make me have a better day ;) So I looked around under the tree, and then grabbed “the one,” and said, “here! How about this one?” He took it and I placed your bro Eli next to him so that Eli could help daddy open his present. Elijah got so excited and was ripping the ribbons off and pulling at the box, until he finally threw his little body over the entire box and hugged it! It was hilarious. Your dad finally got the box open, and inside was a small, long, skinny box, tied with a gold ribbon. He finally opened the little box, and there it was! The plus sign :) He looked up at me so fast, with teary eyes, and the happiest expression, and said, “Are you serious?!!! Is this for real!!! You really are!?” and I said, Yes, that’s what the test says, while starting to cry. He leaped up and hugged me super tight, then we both picked Elijah up and had an awesome group/family hug (including you). I can’t tell you how excited we are, and how hard it’s been not to blurt the GREAT news out to everyone we know!!! ;) Love you already baby ;)

Dearest Emma!!!

Dear Emma!!!!!!!!
Hi baby girl, it's your mama! I can't even begin to explain to you how shocked and totally surprised I was when I heard the woman tell us, "You are having a girl!!!" I for some reason had it in my head that I had a little boy in this tummy of mine, but mommy was wrong, and I'm so excited! I have always wanted a little girl, and you are a dream come true for this family! Your daddy and I have talked about how happy we would be if you were a boy or a girl, and that it really didn't matter as long as you were healthy! That is so true, we would love love love any baby God chose to bless us with. But I will say, I'M GLAD GOD CHOSE YOU! You are the one and only Emma Lee Holland, the little girl we have dreamed about since deciding we wanted to have a family! We chose your name a long time ago, and thought that it was JUST the cutest name we could ever have for our first little girl. Your daddy and I agreed on all of our children's names before you guys were even conceived, and now that we are able to put them to use is just blowing our minds! We can't begin to express our Joy!!! I walked into the ultrasound room along with your auntie Tiff, uncle Jimmy, your cousins Grace, Katelynne and Hannah, your auntie Melissa, your grandma and grandpa Holland, your daddy, and your BIG BROTHER Elijah, thinking I knew what we would hear, and was blessed with such wonderful news! I exclaimed, "What!? Oh my Gosh! We're having a GIRL?!!! I'm going to cry, I'm so happy!" Your daddy teared up right beside me, squeezed my hand super tight and smiled huge! He told me on the way home, "Oh man, I'm in trouble... I'm going to be so overprotective!" hahahahaha! He already told me that you will be taking your big brother to your prom, because you won't be allowed to date! Hahahahaha... Oh my little bundle! You were so extremely active today and were jumping off the walls of my tummy! Your feet kept kicking and going so fast that the lady had a hard time at first trying to tell us if you were a boy or a girl. You were on the move the whole time! I totally cried, and was thinking about just how blessed we have been as a family, and now to be able to welcome you, a precious little girl, into our little family is just the greatest feeling, and biggest blessing! We love you so much, God loves you so much, and your family already love you so much! I hear you may get to have some of your cousin Hanna's hand-me-downs ;) Yipeeeee! You will be the 4th Holland girl, and I know you will love your older cousins so much. You will also be the 1st girl on my side of the family, joining your big cousin Nic who is our first boy cousin, and your brother Eli who is the second boy on our side ;) We can't wait to meet you! I pray for you everyday, and will continue to pray for you. I have to go now. I've got a lot of shopping to do! Hahahahaha... Tights, Tutu's, Uggs, head bands, floral prints, pink, purple.... EEEeeeeeeeeps!!!!!!!

Your happy parents!

Welcome to the family Emma!

you at 14 weeks :)