Kickin', Kickin', kickin'...

Dear Emma,
The night before last, your dad and I had one of those nights where we talked the night away. We had a lot we needed to say to each other, and it was such a therapeutic time for us and brought us even closer together as a couple! Gosh I love those kinds of nights ;) Your daddy mentioned you in our talk, and it touched my heart. As he was telling me that I was the woman of his dreams (blush), and that sometimes he feels like he doesn't deserve me (which is crazy, because he's amazing), I was taking it all in. Listening to my husband pour his heart out to me already put me in a very emotional state. He told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen (I admitt, I love hearing that from my husband), and that there was no other woman he would have pursued the way he came after me. He told me that he could not imagine having this life that we have together with anyone but me. He went on to say that he wants to be the best man that he can with Gods help for me and for our family. He said he wants you, his daughter to see and learn from him, of how a man should love and respect a woman. He wants you to see his love for your mommy :) I thought that was sweet. I am so thankful that you have a daddy who plans on being the best that he can be. He already loves you so much, and is preparing for you. He is always learning, improving, growing and seeking to be a better husband, father and man of God. Our talk was full of laughs, tears, hugs, kisses and best of all, talking to God. Then towards the end of our talk, your daddy had his hand on my tummy, and you started kicking so much! You kicked and kicked and daddy just stopped talking, and said, "aww." hahahaha. It was perfect timing! I get so excited whenever he can feel you ;)
Yesterday your daddy was still sick. He's been sick for like 4 days straight! Anyway, yesterday late afternoon, he was finally able to leave the house for a bit because he wanted something at Target. He bought a dry erase board... I didn't know why, but asked no questions. Hahaha... Then we went to my moms, (your grandma), for dinner. She made us chicken noodle soup! It was just what your daddy needed! After dinner, you started kicking again! So my grandma was able to feel you!!! Isn't that cool!? I think grandma Darcie was the first to feel Eli too, outside of your daddy and I of course. It was pretty exciting! Grandma was so happy to be able to feel you moving around in there. When we got back I found out what the dry erase board was for. He hung it in our room, and said it's for LOVE notes!!! Then he wrote one for me :) I like the way he thinks. heehee... Oh and by the way, we reached the 20 week mark! We are 5 months along, which means we are half way there ;) Can't wait! I'm so stinking excited!!!
I love you Emma Lee Holland! You are my sweet cheeks! You are already very much a part of this family, and we are eagerly awaiting your arrival!

can't wait for you to join us!

19 weeks!

Dear Emma,
We are 19 weeks along in this experience, and you are moving lots! I felt you on both sides of my tummy this morning, poking around, so you must be pretty long already. Today it felt like you were jumping on my bladder. I just stopped talking, grabbed my tummy and was surprised by how strong it felt when you pushed down. It was as if you were doing a flip and needed a push off! Hahahaha... I love feeling you move. I forgot how special that feeling truly is. It's something to miss for sure. I mean, how awesome is it that I can feel you moving inside of me! It's mind blowing. Today has been a bit sluggish in terms of my energy level, and I've also felt some nausea off and on. I have to pee every 10 minutes, and that's not a joke. I'm not even being exaggerated about that, I pee constantly. Today I was thinking about how annoyed I was to be in so many public restrooms, and all of a sudden I had a thought that I am thankful to be in this condition. There are many women who would love to take on all these symptoms, since we know that the outcome is all worth it! Although I get tired, cranky, sick, and all the other stuff that come along with carrying a baby, I am so thankful to be pregnant, and blessed with such a precious gift from God. Emma, you are absolutely priceless! Love you gummy bear!

18 Weeks!

Dear Emma,
You and I are 18 weeks along today! I can't believe it's already that far, although I know I will feel a mixture of thinking it's flying by, and then thinking it's going to slow! Hahahaha... This means that we are 2 weeks away from being half way there! Yeeeeeeeeps! That's pretty exciting! I was telling your daddy the last night that it's funny how now that I know what it's like to give birth, I'm anticipating it even more this time! It's so weird! Oh gosh Emma, this week I had to switch bra's again! I'm telling you, I have like 3 different sizes of bra's available to me now since my "girls" never seems to stay the same size these days. This is because when you are pregnant, the pregnancy hormones take over and start to do funny things to your body ;) I'm prepared though, so that's good. Before, with your brother, I was so confused and was always unsure of how to dress my new body. I still get that way, but this time around it's a bit easier, and sometimes, I really don't care!!! You should see some of the outfits I've gone out in, hair everywhere, and no makeup! Hahahaha It's so weird though going from one size to another, to another in such a short amount of time. I'm playing catch up some of the time! Sometimes I look back at pictures and am like, "Oh gosh! Why did I wear that shirt!" or something else along those lines. It's because I was struggling with knowing what fit me and what didn't. It's hard when something looks fine one week, and the next week it's totally different. I'll try to keep up with my changing body, but there WILL BE those days when my shirt hugs all the wrong places, and my pants seem a bit stretched! hahahaha... So, nights have been quite difficult I must say. I have to pee like twice a night, which makes it very hard to get a good nights rest! I'm always tossing and turning after getting up, because unlike your dad, I have not the gift for going right back to sleep after being woken up! I wish I did! Instead I roll all around the bed, trying every position, mind filled with unwanted thoughts, until finally I drift off... That is until your dad's alarm clock goes off about 20 times in the early morning! Aaaaaaaaah, I get so mad at him! hahahahahahaha. He presses SNOOZE for like a half hour in 5 minute intervals! Seriously?! Hahaha, But I guess it's pay back since all night long I am waking him up trying to get comfortable. I will a lot of the time grab his arm, and wrap it around me, then 2 minutes later roll up next to him, then 2 minutes later throw my legs on top of him, and then 2 minutes later try laying on his chest. I try everything! Hahaha. Man, I would love a video recording of our nights these days. Between trips to the bathroom and leg cramps, my night have recently become pretty crazy! I hope I can get more sleep sooner or later, because I don't want to be lame, cranky, sick or anything else lack of sleep can do. Well, our journey of fun pregnancy symptoms has truly begun. I love you Emma. I would go through this 100 times for you :)

So Different...

Dear Emma,
I am so up and down with nausea, and it's kind of strange for me. I was very different before in the fact that I got all my nauseousness in the first three months, and then felt a whole lot better! With you, I will be doing some regular thing, like dishes or watching T.V. and all of a sudden I have to run to the bathroom to barf! What the heck girl? Hahahaha... What are you doing to me? It's rather embarrassing when you have no warning signs, no way of telling when it's coming on, and then BAM it hits you like a ton of bricks. I was washing bottles today getting ready to leave the house with your dad and brother, and all of a sudden I broke out in a cold sweat, got dizzy, and had to drop what I was doing and sit with my head between my knees! That's what I was told to do when I all of a sudden get nauseous! Then I spent the rest of the morning and late morning hours in bed sick. Your daddy prayed for me, and so did my friends, so I was thankful to have that. Finally after a while, I was feeling at least a little better, and didn't want the day to pass by with all of us being stuck inside on SUCH a beautiful day! So I rallied up, drank lots of water, ate some berries, grabbed my sunglasses and headed out the door praying that I would be alright! I had my moments today when I had to hang my head out of the car saying, "Baaaaaaaaaabe... Help me!!!" Hahahahahaha, but for the most part, I'm so glad we got out and had some fun. The fresh air felt really nice and we got some quality family time too! We went to the Glass Chapel, which was the place where your daddy purposed to me! The last time we were there, Elijah was in my tummy! This time you were in my tummy! It's so cool to go sit in that spot and think about what took place there, and see how we have grown as a family! So cool! I get butterflies when we apraoch that table and bench where your daddy asked me to marry him! Now being able to bring our baby there to run around, and me being pregnant with you and enjoying the fresh air that place provides is just such a blessing. I can actually see how much God has done in our lives in such a short amount of time! Funny how places can induce such great thought and prayer. Well, even though I don't understand these symptoms, it's kind of cool that you and I have our own pregnancy stories that are very different from the last time. You are a whole new ball game my love, and I'm so happy to be experiencing this. You are very loved, and very anticipated! Can't wait to hold you in my arms, kiss you, hug you and just love you! Oh funny side note. Your daddy told me today that he is going to call you every sweet thing in the book. You want to know his hidden motive? He said, "I'm going to call her sweetheart, baby girl, babe, love, sweet cheeks, sweetie pie, cutie pie, pumpkin, so that when she gets a boyfriend and he calls her one of those, she'll just look at him and say, ummmmmm, my dad calls me that..! FOILED!" That's what he said. Although I think he would call you all those things regardless, you should hear what he calls Elijah! hahaha... He is quite good at endearing names :) We love ya! Daddy has been feeling you kick lately and it's more and more every day! You growing girl!

Here we are! All 4 of us ;) You're still cooking though ;)

Look at you Emma, making mommy's tummy pop!

Can't wait till you are running around here too!

The Little White Dress!

17 weeks!!!

Dear Emma,
Today has been a super busy, and fun day! First your brother and I had to get get our blood drawn. I had to get my blood drawn so that they could make sure all is well with my pregnancy and make sure I'm not anemic, and if I am, I have to take iron pills just like I had to do with your brother. I'm pretty much for sure that I will be on iron pills again with you ;) Eli had to get his blood drawn because his doctor said so! Mine went fine, didn't really even feel it, but Eli had a harder time :( They couldn't find his vein, and so they stuck the needle in the poor little guy for pretty much no reason, and then told us to come back in 3 months! I felt so bad for him :( But he was really good about it, and stopped crying as soon as the needle came out. Grandma Darcie had a bottle ready and waiting for him in the lobby ;) The day got better from there. We went to get decaf coffee with your Auntie Melissa, and then we went to our doctor appointment! You and I that is... We got to watch you on the ultrasounds screen, and daddy made it just in time to see! I was so glad it took longer than we thought, so that your dad could rush over from work. Your brother, your daddy and I got to peek at you today, and when the doctor found your heart beat, she asked Eli whose heart beat that was, and he smiled really big and started talking baby talk. It was so cute, and she said you two are going to be great friends ;) It's always fun getting to peek at you! So far so good, and mommy has gained weight! Praise Jesus! I gained 4 pounds within the last month, and that's perfect! They say to hopefully gain a pound a week, and I did it! Yay! My doctor was proud of me ;) She did say that just by looking at me though, she could tell I was anemic, so I wish they would save me the blood test and just give me the iron! Hahahahaha. Oh well :) Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, mommy walked into a baby boutique today!!! Yikes! Dun, dun, dun...... It was over! I have been so strong, and I have passed on so many cute things I've seen!!! But there was this dress!!! This amazing, so beautiful, gorgeous, fantastic, HAND MADE, great material, wonderfully crafted white dress that I fell in LOVE with!!! Your brother was in the store playing with the train set, and I was debating on whether to get you the dress or not. I text your daddy, but he didn't get back to me... I usually always ask your daddy before buying something like this, but I finally came to the conclusion that... HE WOULD LOVE IT TOO!!! hahahahahaha... I bought it! I had to! It was an original dress that I wouldn't be able to find anywhere else, and I could just see you in it! Hahahaha. It was calling to me. You kicked a lot when I picked it up, so I think you really wanted it too. Hahahaha! And that my little Emma is going to be my last purchase for your wardrobe until you are here... It's so hard! There are like baby girl clothes everywhere for goodness sake! Well, I'm so glad you are healthy, I'm healthy, and the pregnancy is going well so far. I am thankful to Jesus for hearing our prayers. We are just so excited to meet you Emma! I'm so so so so so overjoyed to get to bring a precious little girl into this family! Yay! Oh and by the way, daddy liked the dress :) Oh Oh Oh, and one more peice of crazy information... I wore the exact same shirt when I was 17 weeks pregnant of Elijah! Isn't that crazy! Not planned at all!

17 weeks!!!

You and I at 17 weeks, picture taken by daddy :)

Eli and mommy waiting for your ultrasound :)

On the Move!

Dear Emma,Crazy how it just begins! I started to be able to feel you, and now I get the JOY of feeling you more and more every day, throughout the day! It's seriously thee best feeling. It makes me all giddy, warm and fuzzy. I feel this joy sweep over me, and want to just laugh and smile, and shout it to the world that you are moving! (Ugh!!! your brother keeps coming up to me and trying to press the keys on my lap-top, and close it!) hahahaha... What a character ;) Anywho, I have exciting news! Daddy got to feel you kick last night and was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy! He couldn't believe he was able to feel you, and was very happy that he got the chance. I knew he would feel you soon since when I have been feeling you kick, I put my own hand on my tummy to see if I could feel it with my hand, and I was able to recently. I told your dad you were moving last night, and he raced over to me and planted his hands on my tummy, determined to feel you kick! And he did!!! Yay for daddy! Elijah and I have to get our blood drawn....... :( Lame! BUT, I will be brave for your brother... I hope. ;) Love you Emma Lee Holland... I'm excited about your middle name this week, because I was remembering my aunt Nancy and how sweet and kind she was before she passed away. She was a beloved lady, and a wonderful mom, and grandma. Her name was Nancy Lee. Then I was thinking about how much my grandma has meant to me through my life. She is such a loving, sweet, generous, and fun grandma who snuggles, laughs, and knows how to have a great time! She has always loved us so much, and made us feel important. I really love and appreciate my grandma whose name is Karen Lee :)  and now there is going to be an Emma Lee. So cool! I love you!