All the Wonderful Things...

Dear Emma,
You are laying right next to me on the couch right now making cute baby sounds, and spitting out your binky only to look for it again :) You are JUST to precious! Your daddy just left for work, but before he left, we were both sitting on the couch with you, holding you and talking to you about all kinds of stuff. We think you are the most beautiful baby girl in the world!

You were so good last night. You let us sleep for longer periods of time before waking us up to eat :) The funny thing was that I was soooooooooooooooooooo tired this morning! I felt like I couldn't pull myself out of bed! You're daddy was up at 6am for work, and when he came back around 7:15am, he slept a bit longer, then got up with Eli. you and I stayed sleeping till 9:30am!!!!!!!! It felt so nice to sleep in.

We sing songs to you ALL THE TIME! Hahahaha, I think we have a friendly competition going on between us for who makes up the best song about you. We do the same with your brother too! Hahaha... I always just use the tune of other songs to sing a song about you. The lyrics usually say something about your sweet cheeks, your beautiful smile, your cute little nose, your chubby little arms and legs, and basically anything and all things Emma.

I LOVE being your mommy Emma! You are so sweet, you smell so good, you cry so cute, you smile so sweet, and you are the best little baby snuggler ever! I love kissing your little soft cheeks, and your sweet smelling head. I love nibbling your little toes, and pretending to eat your thighs ;) haha... I love when you fall asleep in my arms, and when you yawn! When you open your eyes, it's seriously thee cutest thing ever. Your eyes get so big, and you open them so wide! You already smile so much! You have been smiling since birth! I have pictures of you smiling right out of the womb! Hahaha... I know it takes a while for babes to be able to focus on things, and really look at something, but I swear you look right into my eyes sometimes! Every time you make eye contact with me, I want to tear up! I just love you so much! I cry about everything these days. Also, I think that becoming a mommy made me even more emotional than before I was a mom. I mean, my kids do one little new thing, and I want to like set of fireworks, jump up and down, and tell the world that my baby just blinked... Hahaha. I am one of those mommies who texts pictures to people almost everyday of my babies! :)

Eli spent a good 5 minutes walking in a circle kissing you, me and then daddy over and over again yesterday. It was so sweet. He loves you. He knows now too, that before bed, he doesn't just kiss mommy and daddy, he now has another family member to kiss good night, and he takes it very seriously. I told daddy this morning, "She is just the most wonderful and perfect addition to this family." We are so glad you are here Emma, and I for one, could not be a happier mommy!

I have always wanted to eventually get married, and start a family with the man I love. I never could have even imagined it being this awesome! I used to imagine how it might be, or what kind of wife and mom I would be, but I couldn't have ever thought up all of this. God has been so faithful. I always prayed for my future husband when I was a little girl, and now that I married your daddy, I see that God answered my prayers, I am paired perfectly with your daddy. I didn't even know what I needed, but God did, and your daddy still surprises me to this day with qualities I totally appreciate! So Emma, moral of this story... Pray for Gods plan in your life. Pray for Gods will in your life, because He knows you better than you know yourself, and loves you more than you can comprehend.

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37: 3-5

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. Matthew 6:20-22

Your first bath! You did great! Didn't even cry.

you at 2 weeks old

You and your brother :)

 

Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That...

Dear Emma,
We took you to your first appointment at a week old this last Tuesday and it went very well. You weighed in at 2 ounces less than your birth weight :) All the nurses were saying how cute you were, and then they asked how big you were when you were born. All of them looked shocked when I told them you were 8lbs. 10oz... They looked at me and said "YOU had a baby that size!?" In all honesty, yes I felt the difference of that pound versus when I had your brother, but you were just an average size, healthy baby... The thing that blows people's minds apparently is that I am a petite woman. The awesome thing about it is that it showed me that no matter what your size is, God made our bodies able to do all sorts of cool stuff. Giving birth is a pretty cool experience because what seems impossible, becomes possible! I never thought I could do a natural birth because my mom was never able to. When it happened, it happened so naturally, and my body just kicked into gear! With you Emma, there were a lot of similarities to Eli's birth, but it was also such a different experience! You gave mommy a run for her money, yet, I felt so encouraged and got through it very nicely!

At your first appointment, the doctor looked at you, and said, "Hey, your cute! You're not supposed to be this cute right now, my kids looked scary at this age!" hahahaha! It was funny. He is a very sweet doctor, and he actually specializes in new borns! When we had Elijah, he walked in to check him for the first time in the hospital, and he walked into pastor Nathan praying for Eli. The doctor stood there, closed his eyes, folded his hands, and then when pastor Nathan said Amen, he repeated, "Amen!" we liked him right off the bet. ;)

Our pastor also prayed for you Emma! He came over the day after you were released from the hospital, read from the bible about how God knit you together in my womb, and then said a prayer for you. We are so very blessed to have such a wonderful pastor. His wife is pretty darn great too, and was also there ;)

You have had SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many visitors since you came home, and well, at the hospital too ;) All your family, and some friends have come by to hold you, look at you and bring you cute little things. We have also had people come and bring us dinner every night since you have been home! That has been so nice!

I just looked over right now at you laying on your daddy's chest asleep! You look so relaxed and happy. Such a cutie you are Emma! He looks happy to have you there :)

Your original first appointment was scheduled for Monday, but as we were walking out the door, your auntie Melissa came in the back door and told us that our dad, (your grandpa Cruz) was in the emergency room because they were thinking he might be having a stroke... I was in shock, and we had to switch around our plans. Your daddy and you took Eli to grandma's house in Torrance, and then came back home. I went up to the hospital with auntie Melissa, and we sat with our dad for the whole morning until we got results. He had suffered a "mini stroke," and they ended up sending him home later that afternoon. Now we are just hoping he takes it easy and gets plenty of rest! It was an emotional day...

You have been such a little piece of heaven dropped into our household! We all love you so much Emma. Your brother is always kissing you, hugging you and trying to hold you. Your daddy and I just stare at you, and ask each other how you got to be so beautiful!!!? You are so sweet! You pretty much sleep most of the time, and then eat. You eat and sleep, and occasionally wake up for a while and look around with your wide open eyes. It's so precious! I love dressing you up in your pretty little dresses, but you are pretty darn cute in just your diaper too! haha... You wake up kind of a lot during the night to eat, and what's funny is that you sleep longer periods of time during the day! Isn't that funny... If only you could switch that around!!! hahahahaha... When you cry at night, your daddy will get you out of your bed and hand you to me so I could feed you. Your daddy then takes you back, changes your diaper and puts you back to bed. Then in the morning, your daddy and Eli go hang out in the living room, while you and mommy snooze for a bit longer. Then we join them not to long after. I feel like your daddy was born to be a dad! He is super good at it. Patient, kind, nurturing, and very attentive. Even when he is so tired, he always talks tenderly to you guys :) I appreciate the wonderful help your daddy is. We make a great team ;)

Oh! I HAVE to tell you something funny about your daddy. Today we went to Starbucks with you guys, and Eli peed on me, so I was walking through the parking lot to throw his diapers away, and when I was walking back towards the car, I guess your dad was watching me the whole time. When I got into the car, he was smiling at me, and said, "Hey babe, I was watching you walk... you looked pretty cute ;)" he then went on to say, "If I was leaving Starbucks and saw you walk in there from the parking lot, I would have gone back inside just to talk to you... I would have gotten in line behind you and asked you what you usually order, and you would have smiled all shy and said, Carmel frapp, and then you would have asked me what I usually ordered, and I would say, Oh, just a drip coffee, but I already had one, I just came back in here to talk to you." Swoooooooooooooon! I was taken again by your daddy's charm! Hahahahahahaha! He went on with the story, and it was very romantic, and then he looked at me and said, "I could hook you again babe," I just smiled and said, "Yes, you probably could ;)" He's a fun guy... You'll see... You may not appreciate his humor at times, especially when you enter the phase of being embarrassed, but he's funny none the less, and even when I really don't want to laugh, he gets me to. When he came up with that whole scenario today it made me all happy because he is still thinking of me in that way and trying to make me blush. In all honesty, this day has been kind of not the best... But moments like that kind of make you forget you were having a lame day... Last night I got no sleep between you and Eli waking up, and then I tell your dad he could go work out at 6am before his first client because I thought, why not? Eli ended up waking up right as your daddy was out the door, and so I had to get up, looking like a zombie with blood shot eyes... He usually gets up at 8am!Then he pooped and, pardon me, but it was messy and I had to clean that up, and run a bath for him. Then you started crying to eat, and I was thinking to myself... "Hmmm, I only have two hands here. What to do..." hahahahaha! But it always works itself out, and things are not to crazy, there are just those days where everything that can go haywire, will...  Then Eli would not go down for his nap, which is usually no problem... I finally got him off to bed, but he only slept for half the time he usually does! So he was a bit more cranky today. Then we had a fun play date with Lydia and her friend Noel, which was awesome! We went to Starbucks after that, which is where your brother decided to pee on me! Hahahahahaha... Ok, so I did laugh in that situation, only because he started laughing, and how can you be mad at that smile? So I cleaned him up, walked to the trash can, and it was when I got back from there that your daddy made me feel amazing again! Did I mention that I stepped on your brothers tiny blocks twice today bare footed! Those things cause such pain! Now your daddy is gone again taking my sister to the airport, and I miss him... Oh yeah, and this morning when your dad returned, I was feeding you, and when I went to burp you, you spit up all over me! You missed the baby burp cloth, and went straight for my clothes, the couch, and my legs. ;) Being a mom is messy, but I wouldn't have it any other way!!! Ever! I love my babies, and though some days can and will be draining, I have this inner joy that can never be put out. It's like a glow! A mommy glow!!! We have been blessed. So blessed Emma... We see what God has done in our lives, and only hope to glorify him with all he gives us. We love you!

Your Big Debute!

Dear Emma,
Well you surprised us all and actually came right on time! You arrived right on your due date, and I was so shocked! Here is how everything happened...

The night before, which was a Monday evening, on the 13th of August, your daddy and I decided to go out to dinner. I took a nice, long, and relaxing shower, blow dried my hair, and actually used a hair straightener! I put on some makeup and wore a purple maternity tank top that has big white flowers on the belly :) One of my faves this time around of the maternity clothes. Your daddy really likes that one too, which is why I decided to wear it out on our date. We thought it would be fun to go out to dinner the night before your due date juuuuuuuuust in case you decided to join us the next day ;) We took your brother to his grandparents (Dean and Darcie) and went to P.F. Changs! It was so yummy! I love Asian food, and we ordered really yummy stuff. After our dinner, we walked across the way to this place we had never been to, and decided to get a milk shake for dessert. I was going on and on about how I wanted to go there because it's so cool that you build your own burgers, shakes and meals. I was so excited to "build my own shake!" When I got in there, I looked at all the options, and walked out with an Oreo shake! Hahahahaha, your daddy made fun of me after, and was saying out of all the options I could have chose, I went with a typical Oreo Shake... Hey! The tummy wants what the tummy wants!

That night your daddy rubbed my back, he rubbed my feet, and I danced all around the living room. This was so that maybe we could naturally induce my labor ;) Hahahaha! I took a picture in the kitchen of you and I as well so that I would have a pic of what we looked like right before. I have to admit, in the back of my mind I did not think at all that you would come the very next day! I was thinking we would have to wait till a few days later. We went to bed and I woke up at 5am because a) I was having "braxton hicks," b) I couldn't sleep, c) I had to pee, d) I had some heart burn, and e) I wanted to check on your brother. I covered Eli with his blanket, jumped back into bed with your daddy and tried nudging him. He was dead asleep, and so I grabbed his phone, and was scrolling through all the pics of you and me getting bigger and bigger. I had been getting small contractions, but didn't think much of them since I had them all the two nights before. Then all of a sudden I got a real painful one and when I hunched over to grab my tummy, I felt my water break! I sprung out of bed super fast and said to your daddy, "Um... my water just broke!" He sprung out of bed, grabbed his phone, and said, "Soooooo, should I call my parents!" I answered, "YES!" We needed your grandparents (Jim and Diane) to stay with Eli while we drove to the hospital! This all happened around 5:45. By 6am we were driving across the bridge to Long Beach Memorial, and I STILL could not let myself believe that I was in labor! Hahaha... It just seemed surreal. I was saying things to your daddy like, "I mean, I think it was my water breaking... I've never felt that before... Well if anything they will let us know what it was... Then if they send us home, at least we were on the safe side." Then they HIT!!! My contractions started to get painful. I then realized at the end of the car trip to the hospital, that yes... I was indeed in labor! Hahaha... I didn't want Mike to drop me off, so we drove to the farthest parking lot! Hahahaha, and I walked. I was holding my tummy, breathing deep, and laughing at your daddy's faces! We went up the elevator to Labor and Delivery, talked to thee most depressing front desk lady who's face looked as if she just sucked on a sour lemon. She asked, "what do you need..." I answered... "my water broke." She said... "fill out these papers." Hahaha! So I filled out her darn paper work and sat in the waiting room as directed until a nurse came to get me. I was hunched over in the chair, half laughing at the situation and half panicked that I was not going to make it in the room in time to get an epidural! Hahahaha. Your daddy and I were greeted by a very sweet nurse who brought me into the examining room. This is the first of three rooms. This room is where they check you out to see if you basically make the cut! heehee... They check to see if they will admit you. When they checked me I was at 5 centimeters, and then they started racing around trying to get all the computer questions filled out and my file ready to go. There was a mix up though, and so they had to re-ask me a bunch of stuff because they put me in the wrong room, and had another patients file up. It was crazy! Finally though, I was taken to the Birthing Room! Once in the birthing room they got me all strapped up to the monitors, and I started having some really bad contractions. Because of my sort of high pace labor they kept calling the lab to see if they could get the results for my blood work A.S.A.P. so that they could give me the epidural. Finally, they called the guy with the magic needle, and he administered the medicine. It was easy as cake. I never really felt it, just as I never felt the first one with your brother. I was finally able to calm down a bit before the storm. I closed my eyes and started nodding off a bit for about 20 minutes. Then, I noticed that I was feeling my contractions through the epidural, and I was feeling them strong! It started to get very uncomfortable pretty fast, so I called the nurse, and she checked me. I was at 8 cen, so she made me turn over to my other side and left to get stuff she needed to prepare the room for you to come! I ended up having to call her because I felt so much pressure, and it felt to me as if I was doing all I could to keep you in. So she came in, she checked me and just like that, I was at 10 cen! In a matter of minutes from turning me on my other side! Crazy! It took the doctor a bit to get in there, and the whole while I was telling your daddy, "That doctor better hurry because she's coming!" So the doctor finally arrived and she was so nice and very personable! She JUST had a baby as well, and so I really felt like she was empathetic to my situation at hand... hehe... She gave the best direction, she talked me through everything, and she did am amazing job at encouraging me through the birth. Anywho, when she first entered the room, after the introductions, she checked me and said, "ok!, wow, there she is." She said lets do a test push on the next contraction, and see if she is ready. So I pushed at the next contraction, and the doctor was like, "whoa, ok, lets get this going!' She prepared everything, and then there we went. Your daddy was on one side of me, along with the baby nurse, and my nurse was on the other side of me. The next contraction came and I pushed as hard as I could. I was hearing things like, "Great job," "that was an awesome push Stephanie," "Keep going," "You got this sweetie!" Then a break! Ahhhh, breath.... Just keep breathing..... Then the next contraction came, and I hear everyone tell me to go again! Your daddy was saying such encouraging things, and keeping me on track with breathing. I kept reminding me not to hold my breath, but to breath out, and that super helped! Then another break... Finally the third contraction came, and that's when everything got pretty intense. This was it, you had made your way down and there was no turning back, and no more just waiting for the next contraction. I was pushing, and pushing and pushing. It was hard! So now I keep hearing, "Come on Stephanie, keep pushing, you have to keep going... Come on you are doing great! We need another big push, I see her, keep going. Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeath! I hear Mike tell me I can do it, and he can see you! He said with a huge smile, there she is babe, you have to keep pushing, but I can see her honey! There was a point when it got so hard that I blurted out... I Can't!!! And everyone responded... Your daddy said, "yes you can babe, You are doing so good!" The doctor said, "yes you can sweetie, you are doing so good!" The nurse said, "push through the burning, just keep pushing through the burning," your grandma Darcie responded, "yes you can!" and your auntie Melissa told my mom... "Mom, she said she can't!" (in a panicked and protective voice...) Hahahaha All the encouragement in that room, and all the prayers I was saying to Jesus gave me all the strength I needed. I can remember praying through the whole experience and it's amazing how God answers our prayers. He gave me grace and mercies through your entire birth. e calmed me when I needed calming, and encouraged me when I needed encouraging. He gave me all I needed, and boom! There you were! You came out, and I saw you, and it was love at first sight! I was crying, daddy was crying, grandma was crying and auntie was crying! We were all so happy to see you Emma! You were just so beautiful! I remember that's what I said! I said, "Oh honey! She's beautiful!" and your daddy agreed whole heatedly! We were beaming with joy and I got to hod you for a bit before they took you to the corner of the room to check you, and to suction your stomach since you swallowed some fluid. You were amazing! Didn't cry much, and when they gave you back to me, you started nursing right away! Like you hadn't eaten in ages! Hahahaha... No problems there, you took to nursing like a pro! It was all together an awesome experience, and your daddy and I agreed that we loved the staff this time around much more. They were so much nicer and personable. Plus our doctor ended up being so great. We had never met her before your delivery, but we were so thankful we got her. Although there was pain, discomfort, and exhastion, this goes down as one of the best experiences of my life! The birth of Emma Lee Holland was the greatest blessing! We love you and are so happy you finally came!

After everything calmed down, and you had your bath, they let your brother Eli in the room to meet you! He just stared at you and was kind of looking all around at me, your dad, and you. He was just taking it all in. He gave you kisses, and then layed on mommy while daddy held you. Then he kept kissing your daddy and me, and trying to touch your face. It was so cute :) Your brother is getting used to having a tiny baby in the house now and every time he notices you in the room he smiles and runs over to you. He grabs you, touched your face, beeps your nose and tries to rock you in your sleeper. He also steels your binky and puts it in his mouth, and piles stuffed animals on top of you. We have to watch him closely with you since he has no idea how delicate you are ;) but he is gentle for the most part. He also tries to tickle you, and he likes your toes too! Hahaha... He kissed your toes today, and played with them smiling! He loves toes! His own especially ;) Well Emma, we all love you! Your welcoming party was amazing! Everyone showed up to say hello. Lots of family including cousins, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, great aunts and all came to see you. You are LOVED baby girl ;) So very very very loved! The hospital kept us two nights, and then finally let us go! It was so much fun bringing you home. We had your brother come join the fun of getting you ready to leave the hospital. We all sat on the hospital bed and got you dressed up in pretty pink clothes. They put me in a wheelchair where I held you in one arm and your brother in the other! Hahaha, and daddy had all the bags. Such a great memory, holding both of my babies on the way to the car.

 You have been a joy! I am bursting with joy and smiles all the days long! You and your brother have enriched our lives so much. Just staring into your eyes, and holding you, and nursing you makes me the happiest woman on earth! Your daddy already calls you his princess, and that you are ;)

waiting for you <3

Seeing you for the first time!

Daddy cutting the cord :)

Holding my baby girl!

kisses for sister :)

our beauty :)

daddy's girl!

our little family!

the day you came home!

Brother and Sister :)

The Children Who Cry WOLF!!!

Dear Emma,
I officially have the babies that cry wolf! Hahahaha... Eli did this to me, and now you are doing it my love! Last night I was sitting on the couch watching funny youtube videos with your daddy and your auntie Meliss and all of a sudden I got a pretty painful contraction! Then I got a ton more, and they just kept coming. They were all pretty darn painful, and so I jumped in the shower, your daddy checked my hospital bag to make sure everything was in there that we needed, and your auntie Meliss helped us search for the camera charger, and then she went home to take a shower just in case! So when mommy was in the shower, the contractions started to calm down, and become less painful. Then they started to become very far apart! You tricked us! We didn't quite get our hopes up though, since we had experienced this the last time. We will see what the doctor says today at our appointment :) Last time this was happening, (getting tons of contractions that were sporadic) they sent me to the hospital to be induced. But I think that was only because I was already a week late with your brother. I know they wouldn't do that today, but I hope that I am further along, and closer to labor! Heehee... I'm being impatient!

Right about now I am wishing to be Mary Poppins so that I could snap and things would just go to their places here in this house! Hahahaha... I have no energy, and every time I start a project, I have to leave it to sit down for a while and take a break! Not a good way to get things done. I have a bunch of half done projects all over the place! I think my mom (your grandma Darcie) is going to come pick up Eli for a while a bit later so that I could get some stuff done around here, and then go to our appointment. Eli usually comes with to our appointments, but he get bored pretty fast. haha... I can't wait till he meets you Emma. He is going to love you! Can't wait to see him give you kisses and hugs :) He's good at those things :) Ok, well, I love you! Hopefully I will meet you soon!

So Ready!

Dear Emma,
I'm pretty ready to meet you now! :) Haha, I mean, I really do want to go into labor at this point. I'm only asking for 8 days early! That's not to much... ;) Our doctor is officially out of town on vacation, so they referred me to a Dr. Wheeler who we will meet tomorrow at our appointment.

I have been feeling kind of weird lately. I got another sore throat, I was feeling super dizzy and nauseous, and was very tired yesterday! I actually had to miss your cousin Hannah's birthday party :( That was sad, but I really needed the rest. Your daddy took Eli, and you and I hung out at home sleeping, and being present for the plumbers who were replacing our pipes! They had to dig up a part of the front yard to do it, so it was a huge job! Thank God they finished in 1 day!

I'm feeling pretty big now, and although I walk just fine most of the time, when I get tired, or have walked for to long, I start to do the "pregnancy waddle." I also am experiencing my legs feeling like they keep coming dislocated from my hips when I walk, so I am always having to adjust, or I all of a sudden get a dead leg, and it almost makes me have to stop walking or fall. Usually I can just maneuver in away. Your daddy laughs at me because when it happens, I always cry out, "aaah, my butt is dislocated!!!" Hahahaha... I have a flare for drama sometimes ;)

So the house we will bring you home in is almost done! well, I mean, not the dining room, but the rest of the set up and unpacking is almost done! We had lots of plumbing set backs, but thankfully that is all taken care of!

I'm so excited to hold you! I seriously can't wait to set my eyes on you for the first time! I keep telling your daddy, "We get to kiss her little cheeks, and play with her little toes!" Today we took Eli to the park and he is climbing, and running on bouncy bridges, and all kinds of fun new things. Then we took him to PETCO to see the fish, birds, mice and turtles! He loves it there! Can't wait till you can come on our fun family days!

The other night you totally siked me out thinking I might be close to having you! I had contractions all night long, but no you! It's just my body preparing itself I guess ;) Also, I keep having sharp pains in my lower abdomen, and keep feeling like you are ready! But, you're not... I think you are too cozy in there, which is a good thing :) ok, well I love you! I'm going to go watch the Olympics with your auntie Meliss and your daddy. Love you!